Thursday, April 12, 2018

Disrupt the Ordinary

What does women empowerment mean to you? Does it mean exercising your right to control your decisions, money and time? Or does it mean enjoying the status of equality alongside men? Or perhaps something simple as the ability to live your life unrestricted, with self-respect and dignity. Whatever your version of the definition, it all leads to one point - doing what your heart desires without being judged.

Last week I attended the Simmons Leadership Conference in Boston, MA. To sweeten the pot, my company had organized a Boston City walking tour as well as a private networking dinner, the day before the event. Being an introvert, I apprehensively walked down from my hotel room towards the breakfast area, not knowing what to expect. There I met an amazingly talented bunch of ladies from different organizations across the company. Throughout the day, we spent time in each other's company, meeting and greeting more friendly faces along the way. The enormous nature of the event hit me when I walked into the Seaport World Trade Center, the day before the event, to complete my early registration formalities. The theme was this year's conference was "Disrupt the Ordinary". As per Simmon's website, the theme centered on the need to change how we thought, behaved and did business in an era of accelerating innovation. From start to end the #SLCBoston was designed to inform, impress and inspire. I instantly knew at that moment that I was going to be wowed by the entire experience.

At the private networking dinner event later that evening, we were sorted into small groups representing different business units within the company. As a conversation starter, we were asked to find out fun facts about each other. It was both entertaining and enlightening: entertaining to see the casual, non-business side of people and enlightening to gain more insight into their private persona. After that ice-breaking exercise, we had a brief discussion about the topic "Eliminating Titles". We were asked to jot down pros and cons. We had a very lively discussion about why and why not having job titles were critical for our job roles. In between dinner, we were shown a video series called the "Inspiration Chain". Selected few employees were asked to talk about other women employees within the company who've inspired them, thereby giving a genuine compliment where it was due and creating an inspiration chain. Several of our company leaders gave motivating speeches reinforcing our company's culture for inclusion and diversity. After a very satisfying networking event, disruptive activities, and delicious dinner, we retired for the evening.

Finally, when the red-letter day dawned, I could scarcely curb my enthusiasm. I took my time to dress with care. As I walked into the Seaport World Trade Center that morning, I had butterflies in my stomach. I was not disappointed. There were over 3500 representatives from all across the country representing both industry bigwigs and start-ups. The line-up of sponsors was impressive – Dell, Cisco, Seaport Hotel & World Trade Center, Liberty Mutual Insurance, United Technologies, 2U, The Walt Disney Company, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Phillips, Putnam Investments and many more… Like the previous evening, we were pre-sorted in small groups by companies at each table. For Welcome Remarks, there were women in executive position speaking on behalf of companies like Dell, Cisco, Seaport Hotel & WTC, Liberty Mutual, United Technologies, 2U and Walt Disney.

To kick off the event, the MC, Joyce Kulhawik, pointed out that one of the key reasons why Simmons Leadership Conference is a such a sought-after event is because it featured highly successful women telling their stories and that there is nothing more powerful than a narrative. She expressed that although we have come a long way, women remain under-represented, underpaid, under-served. These issues have become ordinary. She boldly went on to assert that today we were here at #SLCBoston to "Disrupt the Ordinary" and listen to heart-warming stories from extraordinary speakers and #1 disruptors like Latina dynamo and women’s empowerment advocate, Nely Galan; a fearless, fierce sexual harassment advocate, Gretchen Carlon; Tan Le, co-founder of Emotiv, who left her safe career in law to build a neuroengineering company whose products are transforming lives and expanding the frontiers of brain research; former First Lady Michelle Obama

Our first keynote speaker was Nely Galan. While exposing several myths, she said that there is no prince charming waiting to rescue us from the evil sorcerer! She went to stress that as women, we have to be our own prince charming, find solutions to our problems, get help from right resources when necessary and become self-made. She further added that it was okay to be afraid! However, it was necessary to do the thing that scared you anyway. As, on the other side of fear, was freedom. There are only two possible outcomes: you will either succeed or fail. But you won't know that unless you've tried. So why would you not take the 50/50 chance, overcome your fear and give it a shot? If you succeed, you would have elevated yourself out of mediocrity. If you fail, you would have learned a very valuable lesson.Very powerful words indeed!

Whitney Johnson, the author of Disrupt Yourself: Putting the power of Disruptive Innovation to Work advises that instead of being afraid of disruption, we need to harness disruption to propel us forward. She emphasized how disruption is vital for innovation very succinctly. According to her, when one starts their career, they are the bottom of the S curve, working their way to the top. Once the individual reaches the top of S curve, they hit a plateau. A sense of ennui creeps in which prohibits innovation. In order for greatness to happen, it is necessary to jump from the top of S curve where one has plateaued to the bottom of a new S curve. When one disrupts, they become a problem-solver, their odds of success are six times higher than when they do nothing.

Former Fox news anchor and journalist Gretchen Carlson, shared heartbreaking stories of sexual harassment in workplace. She has now taken up arms for creating safe working conditions for women. Her unprecedented memoir, "Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back" highlights how women can protect themselves at their workplace and how speaking up against injustice transferred power from the abuser to the individual.

Entrepreneur, author and possibility broker, Raquel Eatmon, the CEO of Rising Media, when talking about social networking explained that although people want to connect with you, 99% of the time, you have to make the first move. She went on to press home that you build your own brand, have to be able self-promote and make people relate to you through a story.

The cherry on top of the cake was former First Lady, Michelle Obama's touching, and uplifting interview. "Women try so hard to be perfect that we don't accept imperfection from other women", she said. When asked about working women's dilemma on how to manage time when things got crazy busy, she quipped, "It is important to put yourself on the calendar. It is important to carve out time for your children and their activities. Once you block off personal commitments on your calendar, you will realize that you have more than enough time to get your work done."

All these powerful and successful ladies emphasized one important fact: In order to grow and blossom as individuals, it was necessary to break free from the chains of mediocrity and mundaneness. It was necessary to not let the fear of failure ruin our chances of success. It was necessary to think out-of-the-box and get creative. It was necessary to "Disrupt the Ordinary".

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Two-Layered Chocolate Burfi

I have a confession to make. For some reason, I am not a fan of store bought khava or khoya or mawa or whatever you call the fancy concoction that you get by cooking milk down on low flame for eternity until the moisture has completely evaporated and all you are left with is milk solids. The store bought variety has a very weird color and smell to it that is not appealing to my palate. Neither am I am not a fan of either baby sitting milk and stirring it till my arms and feet ache. So what are my choices then, if I want to make homemade burfi?

After researching multiple options, I landed upon Ricotta cheese, which is the Italian cousin of our very own Desi Paneer. However, unlike Paneer, Ricotta cheese has a creamy and soft texture as the water left behind by curdling milk is not entirely squeezed away like Paneer. Accordingly to Organic Valley's website: "It is prepared by boiling whole and nonfat milk before adding vinegar and a touch of salt.  Good Ricotta is firm but not solid, and consists of a mass of fine, moist, delicate granules."

I liked the consistency of Sandesh, a Bengali sweet made by Paneer. An innovative aunt had shared her burfi recipe using ricotta cheese, eons ago. I had stashed it away in one of my old recipe books. When occasion called for it, I decided to grab it with both hands, re-vamp it and make it my own. My version pleased both our palates and our guests.  Here's how it goes:

Two-Layered Chocolate Burfi



15 oz (425 g) container of Ricotta Cheese (Any brand or you can make it homemade)
2 sticks or 16 Tbsp (227 g) Butter
2 cups Sugar
Rose essence
1/2 cup Chocolate Morsels
Sliced Almonds
Ghee

1) Grease a 9x13" pan with ghee. Line the pan with parchment paper such that the parchment paper hangs over the two opposite sides of the pan.
2) In a deep sauce pan or wok or kadai add 1/2 of the Ricotta Cheese, 1 cup sugar, 1 stick of butter and stir it together on medium to low flame.
3) Stir gently until the mixture is thoroughly incorporated into a semi-liquid form. Keep stirring until the mixture leaves the sides of the pan and mixture is in spreadable form. Add Rose essence and mix.
4) Spread the mixture into the prepared pan to form an even layer. Allow it to cool down completely. (About 30 mins)
5) Fill a small saucepan about one quarter way through with water and set to boil. Keep a heat-safe glass bowl that comfortably sits on top of this saucepan. When you select a bowl to sit on top of the sauce pan, ensure that it fits snugly and that there are no gaps allowing the heat from the boiling water to escape.
6) While the water is boiling measure your chocolate morsels. Once the water boils, switch off the heat, place the chocolate morsels in the heat-safe glass bowl and gently stir it around until the chocolate melts.
7) Mix together remaining half Ricotta Cheese, 1 cup sugar, 1 stick butter and melted chocolate in the same kadai/wok/sauce pan as before. And repeat the stirring process, until the mixture leaves the sides of the pan and is in spreadable form.
8) Spread the chocolate mixture on top of the white layer evenly to create two seperate layers.
9) Sprinkle sliced almonds on top and gently press it into the hot chocolate layer.
10) Allow the entire burfi to cool and then refrigerate. Cut into desired shape (square, diamond or circle) and serve at room temperature.

Enjoy!

Tip(s):

1) If you do not have chocolate morsels or chips, use whole chocolate and cut them up into chucks.
2)  This recipe makes a lot of burfis. So if you are not feeding a crowd, you can make a small batch by halving all the ingredients.


Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Somewhere over the rainbow...

Couple of evenings ago I was watching an old movie on TNT called "Last Holiday", starring Queen Latifah. To be honest, the movie was not a mind-blowing, electrifying, phenomenal experience. It had humble objectives from the get go - entertaining you, warming up your insides, and generally making you feel good. Not bad way to spend an evening, I say.

The premise of the movie was straightforward. A modest, introverted lady named Georgia Byrd who works at a department store logs her dreams, wishes and desires in a book called "Possibilities. Georgia lives a simple, almost mundane life. She is waiting for that one big opportunity to knock at her door that would free her from her tedious, ordinary, unexciting existence and propel her into being a successful, desired and happy woman. What she gets, instead, is one rude shock. She is diagnosed to be suffering from a terminal illness with only weeks to live. In that eye opening moment, she realizes that she has yet to accomplish even a single item on her wish list. On an impulse, she withdraws her life savings, and takes off a vacation to a luxurious European hotel to live king size. Her personality takes a 180 degree turn. With nothing to lose, she trades her sober/boring outfits for stylish clothes, she opens up to people, trying to soak in every bit of experience before her days are numbered. Her genuineness, child-like enthusiasm and refreshing honesty manage to win several people's hearts. She makes new friends, pursues her hobby, does things she's never done before and generally lives life to her fullest. The cherry on top being proposed to by the guy who she's had a crush on for the longest time. Remorsefully, she realizes she has been a prisoner of her own mind all along. In a twist of fate, she is informed at the end by a very apologetic doctor that her illness was in fact, misdiagnosed and that she is completely fine. On getting a miraculous second chance, she makes a firm resolve to live life on her own terms, changing her book of "Possibilities" to "Realities".

The movie maybe predictable and corny, but it made me introspective. How many times do we let fear overrule the opportunities that knock at our door? Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of unknown... To a certain extent, we've all been there, done that! Fear has the ability to cripple our mind, leaving us sad, anxious and lonely. There is no secret recipe for being successful. Sometimes the best way to break fear's vise-like grip on us is to take the plunge. All we need is an ounce of courage to break through the imaginary glass wall. When describing his skydiving experience on a talk show, Will Smith emphasized that "God placed the best things in life on the other side of terror". There may not always be a pot of gold waiting on the other end of the rainbow, but at least we will have a break through! We will be free to move on from whatever thing that held us back. You can always change directions and bounce back with new ventures, new avenues, new plans. Much like Georgia Byrd in this movie.

I leave you with a quote from a wise philosopher: fear is temporary, regrets are forever.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Winter Harvest

What is it about winter that makes me want to curl up on the sofa with my socks and blankie reading in my favorite novel? On days like these when I am seeking warmth, I loathe spending too much time in the kitchen. Yet I like a nutritious meal that warms up my core and fills up my belly with things that I know are good for me. How would you like to have fiber, protein, and taste that packs a punch rolled into one breakfast? How would you like it if it were ready in a jiffy? How would you like it if it were made in one pot, without you hovering around? Too good to be true?

Maybe it is... or maybe the good things in life a simple. Here's my take on a classic winter harvest breakfast staple.

Apple, Cinnamon, Oatmeal (with a twist) - [Serves 1]

1/2 cup steel cut oats
1-1/2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon + more for sprinkling
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup warmed milk (dairy-free alternatives like almond milk may be substituted)
1 small honey crisp or pink lady apple chopped
1 tablespoon golden raisins
2-3 Medjool dates, pureed
1 tablespoon chopped pecans

Method:

1) Put the oats in Instant Pot followed by water.  Add vanilla extract and cinnamon.
2) Close the lid, turn the knob to venting. Press manual, 3 mins.
3) After oats finish cooking, unplug the pot and the pressure to released naturally. 
4) If there is excess liquid, do not worry, it will get absorbed into the oats.
5) Place in serving bowl, stir in with date puree, raisins, and warm milk.
6) Top with chopped apple, pecans and a dash of cinnamon.

Enjoy!


 

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Two sides to a coin

A Whatsapp forward I received... An extract from writer Sujatha’s biography.

For all parents who force their children to study. Is life just dangling in future alone??

I recently got an E-mail. It’s from a worried father of two sons. He is a successful central government employee. Starting his career as a fresher and completed his whole career as a senior officer before retiring. He has two sons. Both of them well settled with their family. One is living in America, and the another one living in Australia. He is living along with his wife, in his native city, Trichy. His only problem is severe depression from loneliness. His wife is suffering from arthritis, and he has Asthma and they can’t settle in colder countries with their sons. Their sons rarely visit them. Even for two years, they wouldn't visit once. Even if they do, they would stay hardly for 5 days and that too, would hardly spend 5 hours with them.

My second son likes to read a lot of your books. He buys them when he visits India. If you could write an email to him, explaining our state, he might understand us. He requested. I generally don’t get into other's family problem. But when he insisted, I just forwarded his mail to his son.

After a week's delay, there was a response from his son. A lengthy email that made me think a lot about present education and its psychological effects. His son's mail read as, "I lived in Trichy for 22 whole years. But I don’t have any bonding with my native town. For 22 years, I have been with my parents. But I don’t have any sweet memories of them. My father, has always planned to make me an Engineer. He even planned it right before my LKG.

Every day, he would sit along and teach lessons. After that my mother would. Studying in the school, then studying at home, it’s all the only memories of my childhood that I carry around. Even during leaves, even on summer holidays, its English Grammar and Maths Algebra. Even for festivals like Pongal, and Diwali, there's nothing for me to celebrate, just studying.

Sometimes, I would lie down and think if I have anything to remember from my childhood.  Anywhere, any happy occasion. Nothing. Atleast If I got any bad occasion, to remember. Nothing. Its just plain studying, studying, studying.

My school was worse than that. It’s a private school. It is ranked best for squeezing my childhood into marks. People would stand in queues even to get admission. There were teachers to assist us the moment we enter the school and would stay with us till we leave the campus. There's no way, they would let me laugh or play. It’s just study, study, study.

Even in that, study, I have nothing to amuse myself. I didn’t learn anything out of the box from that education. None introduced me to novels or art. Only thing they taught me is to xerox the whole text with just my memory and write on the exam papers.

After finishing my graduation in the same way, and getting employed in America, I just figured out on my own, how happy life can be. Travelling, meeting friends, reading novels, hearing music, were all making me very happy. Our mind, just remembers the place, where it is very happy. It assumes that, that place is our native. That’s, how I love the cities in America more than Trichy. Now Trichy is like a strange city to me. I can’t stay for more than a day in it.

I have respect for my parents. I am grateful to them. But I can’t talk for more than half an hour with them. For 22 years, they hid this world from me and made me study. They stole 22 prime years of my childhood.  Nothing more I can think about them. If I have to love them, I should have understood them. I just see them as strangers.

For the 22 years, I have been with them, we never had any general discussions. They only frightened me with their fears of studies, and my future. Even If I force myself to speak with them, I have nothing to talk. Even now, they frighten me with questions like, how much I earn and what are my savings plan. They ask me not to travel, and not to buy books. They are asking me to live their life.

Now tell me, How do you expect me to talk with them,  when we don’t even have common interests to discuss even for 1/2 an hour. Even if I try artificially, I can’t. How do you expect me to stay in a city that has long become strange for me. I can force myself for 5 days, for the gratitude and respect. What can I do after that."

I forwarded that mail as such to his father. His father just read that mail and didn’t understand a bit. Out of his own frustration, he replied, that his son is disrespectful and irresponsible. After a month, he just mailed me saying, If I could call his son for Diwali.

Diwali is a celebration for children. Children like it a lot. When we grow up, we celebrate less and just carry the happy memories of the childhood celebrations. Your son says, he doesn’t have any such memories. You have taken away all his enjoyment and colorfulness from his life. I replied.

He never wrote back any mail. Life is not a struggle for securing the future.  is to make every minute memorable with colors. It is for that same reason, we have festivals and celebrations. It is what our ancestors framed for us.

___________

My response to the son:

Dear Son,

I am so sorry if you felt trapped by my middle-class dreams for you. From the moment you were born, my only dream was to make sure that your wants were met. I, however, was a man of limited means. So I chose to invest in you, your future. You are correct in saying that "Money doesn't buy happiness"...however, poverty doesn't buy you food, clothing or shelter either. And guess what - you need money for traveling, meeting friends at cafes, reading paper back or digital books or listening to un-pirated, legal music as well! In short, you have to agree, that there is nothing called "free lunch".

You were born in a country where the population is close to 1.25 billion. The gross domestic product (GDP) is merely, 1,500 dollars per capita. Look around you. Whether you like it or not, you cannot avoid competition. I did not have stash of cash lying buried in the garden. All I had was my hard work and hope for a better future for you.

You must forgive me when I insisted that you should focus on your studies instead of "enjoying" life. Maybe the vagrants & hooligans on the streets leading aimless lives had better fathers than you did.

Everyone likes freedom to live their life the way they want it. But do the little ones really understand the meaning of self-motivation? Tell me something, have I ever put shackles on you when you were growing up? I was just trying my best to mold you into a better human being.

You may be upset when I invade your private space and ask for your earnings & retirement plans. But all I want to know is if your future is secure enough... Forgive me son, for I cannot stop caring about you.

Imagine being told by your kids when they are all grown up that you were wrong all along! Imagine being told that all your struggles and hard work for sustaining your family in one of the most densely populated countries of the world was for naught. Imagine being told that your son cannot converse with you for more than 1/2 hour. Imagine that and imagine being a Dad yourself some day....

Love you always,

Dad

Friday, October 21, 2016

Book Review: Wedding Night

Wedding NightWedding Night by Sophie Kinsella

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Eh... I will give it a reluctant 3. More like a 2.5 stars for me.

I like Sophie Kinsella. I got hooked on to her books since I read I've Got Your Number. But Wedding Night is plain, for a lack of a better word, stodgy... It starts out promising, but somewhere in the middle it takes a nose dive and never recovers. The ending is too cute to be true. Don't get me wrong. I love happy endings. They are the only reason I read rom-coms. But for the ending to be awww-worthy, all the events leading up to HEA have to fall in place harmoniously. In this book, it looks like the author was in a rush to tie up all the loose ends at once!

Anyway, coming to the book - Lottie dumps her boyfriend, Richard, because he hasn't proposed her after three years of their being together, her biological clock is ticking, and he appears squeamish at the thought of marriage. On a rebound, Lottie rashly agrees to marry her ex-boyfriend, Ben, (from 15 years ago, from a summer fling) when he declares himself in a dramatic fashion (after one drink too many) in a pub! Lottie's sister, Fliss, isn't too thrilled with what she calls Lottie's "Unfortunate Choices" (which Lottie inevitably regrets), particularly as they stem from messy breakups.

Fliss is battling the aftermath of a nasty divorce, with a lively 7-year old in tow. She is like a mother hen to Lottie. She wants Lottie to avoid the parson's mouse trap, failing which goes on to sabotage her wedding night as the hastily newly wedded couple head out for a honeymoon to Greece. For some reason, Lottie and her husband come to an agreement to abstain from consummating their relationship until after the wedding. Fliss thinks (rightfully so) that it is a case of teenage lust rather than true love. So her goal is to get an annulment for Lottie as quickly as possible if things have not progressed as far. To that end, she makes a mad dash to Greece with her 7-year old son, Noah, to attempt to knock some sense into Lottie.

Some initial schemes that Fliss arranged to interrupt their honeymoon were plain funny like Teletubbies episode on TV that wouldn't stop, or two twin beds in a honeymoon suite or the butler who was extra chivalrous with his constant attendance etc... But after a point, things took a dip. Substituting peanut oil for massage oil, knowing her sister was allergic to peanuts was a low point for Fliss's character. Who does that to their own sister? While Lottie broke out into hives, Fliss was getting moony-eyed with Ben's best man, Locran, who had his own reasons for not wanting the wedding to take place. Accompanying the fateful trio on their adventurous trip is also Richard, the guy Lottie dumped. He too is motivated to stop Lottie from taking the next step.

For starters, I did not like the fact that almost everyone was calling the 30 something ladies Lottie (for Charlotte) and Fliss (for Felicity) AT ALL! I know I am not a prig, but somehow those cartoonish nicknames did not suit the characters at all... Of all the characters in the book, I liked 7-year old Noah the best :) His innocence is truly endearing... And that somehow ends up being the best message of the story. Rather than trying to fix the world, rather than trying to rush through your life, rather than hurrying or trying to cram everything in one day - stop, look around you and smell the roses. Get the most of every moment ... ah now there I've said it!






View all my reviews

Friday, February 19, 2016

When life gives you lemons, you grab it with both hands ...



On Valentine's day my 7-year old wanted to impress his dad with lemon blueberry pancakes. He employed me as his sous-chef. We immediately got to work sorting dry ingredients and wet ingredients. While I ended up doing most of the "worker bee" work, he faithfully helped me measure and mix the ingredients together with a deft hand to help make the fluffiest pancake! These muffins are inspired from the lemon blueberry pancakes and are also a slight variation from a base recipe I have previously mentioned.

There is something joyful about lemons that makes my heart sing... the mouth-watering sourness, the burst of fresh flavor, the warm color of sun and the heavenly scent of summer infuses my body with happiness. Crisp citrus-y scent awakens my jaded soul and makes me feel alive on the days I need a boost of sunshine... Here's an ode to the clean, refreshing and tangy fruit - a.k.a. lemon...

Lemon Blueberry Skinny Muffins (Makes 4 muffins) 

Ingredients:
1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 heaping teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon baking soda
a pinch of sea salt
4 tablespoons coconut palm sugar
4 tablespoons coconut oil
1 egg
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
3 tablespoons milk
2 tablespoons fresh or frozen blueberries
Poppy seeds (optional)
Skinny whipped topping (optional, I used Skinny Truwhip)

Method:

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a muffin tin with 4 cupcake liners and set aside.
2) Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl and set aside.
3) In another bowl cream the egg, sugar and oil mixture together. Add milk and lemon juice. It curdles a bit, creating the buttermilk effect. Fold in the lemon zest.
4) Stir in the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, just until combined, taking care not to over mix.
5) Throw in a bunch of blueberries and gently fold into the cupcake mixture
6) Scoop out the batter evenly into 4 muffin cups, taking care not to fill more than 3/4 of the way.
7) Sprinkle a touch of poppy seeds, if adding
8) Bake for 15-20 mins, or until the toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
9) Cool for 5 mins in the pan and then transfer to a wire rack
10) Cool completely before dousing it with the skinny whip topping. Throw a blueberry on top.

Enjoy!